I am a mom to two beautiful daughters (ages 1 and 3) and we
are all battling Lyme's disease plus the lovely co-infections that often accompany it which are babesia and bartonella. I have
a wonderful and supportive husband who is keeping our family’s ship from
sinking and I owe him my life. I have had Lyme's since I was 4yrs old and have
had a myriad of symptoms my entire life but never knew I had Lymes until this
last July, 2012. After a horrific birth
of my 1st daughter, an emergency C-section and tubal surgery without anesthetic
in 2008, at a local hospital, I got very ill physically (with what felt like
Malaria) and mentally with horrible anxiety, panic and depression. I was initially diagnosed with PPD, PTSD,
Anxiety and Major Depression and was hospitalized several times for what I
thought were nervous breakdowns. I had
always been a tremendously strong and all of the sudden I could not cope with
life anymore. Since birth, my 1st
born daughter was pretty ill with her own kaleidoscope of health issues and was
in the hospital and clinic non-stop for the 1st two and a half years
of her life. And like me none of the
doctor's or specialists we brought her to could tell us why. By 4 months following her birth I was so ill
that my parents had to step in and help us raise our daughter part time for the
first year of her life. Thinking I was
suffering from Post Partum depression I became very active in the PPD
community, and was perplexed when everyone on the PPD boards were getting
better and I just kept getting worse. My
husband and I decided that having any more children was probably a bad idea,
considering the bad shape I was in, but we got pregnant accidentally anyway; it
literally could have been an immaculate conception. A lot of family and friends even said
outright that they thought it was irresponsible of me to continue with the
pregnancy, but I couldn't go through with aborting her (I had already been
through 2 miscarriages and emotionally couldn’t face the loss of another baby)
and I am glad I didn't because she ended up saving my life. During my 2nd pregnancy I was the
healthiest I had been in 3 years, and almost all of my symptoms, both physical
and psychiatric, subsided and I had a renewed sense that I could continue on
with life. A few months after having my
second daughter all of my symptoms returned with a vengeance and I started
swirling down the drain of despair again.
By this time I had seen probably over 30 doctors, had been on over 35
different medications, had countless therapies, 10 different diagnosis - most
of which insinuated that it was all in my head – and started to feel hopeless
and fairly suicidal. I started to truly
believe that I was losing my mind, partly because that is what I was being told
by doctor after doctor, and partly because that is what it felt like. Even my husband, extended family, friends,
and co-workers were starting to believe the same because I was acting so erratic,
so unlike the person I used to be, so unlike the person they had always known. It was the most frightening thing I have ever
faced in my life...that is until I got diagnosed with Chronic Lymes Disease and
found out I had given it to my tiny little, precious girls and most likely my
husband. So now we are in the beginning
stages of treatment and submerged in the waking, walking hell that comes with
having Lyme’s Disease and the treatment of this scary disease. There isn’t a whole lot of information out
there about children with congenital Lymes and hopefully our journey to
remission, permanent recovery (?) will be helpful for others who are lost at the
sea of illness like we are. Peace and
blessings of heath to you all.
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