Our Health Care System is Broken and It Definitely Can't Fix My Herx

It has been a week and 1/2 of hell so far. After 3 nights of horrific searing, burning nerve pain and complete icy-cold numbness in my arms and hands, some in my feet and ankles but without the pain, I finally caved and went to Urgent Care. These 3 nights were some of the longest and most torturous I have experienced to date. None of my pain meds even touched what was going on in my body.  Every time I would nod off my arms would go numb then my nerves would start feeling like someone had taken a torch to them and was burning the crap out of them. I even tried my old trick of binding my arms straight and propping myself up with pillows to sleep upright but nothing I did alleviated it except to stand up. Well, after 3 nights you really don't have the energy to even do that anymore. I had debated at 3am the night before if I should go to the ER but decided against it because I didn't want to end up paying good money only to have them completely treat me like shit and do nothing to help me. I am so glad I went (that is sarcasm there) because I spent 3 hours, surrounded by coughing, hacking people who were sick from the flu only to be told they couldn't help me and I would have to go to the ER. The irony was that the good doctor, who was assigned to my care, was the same one I saw about 6 months ago who wrote, “Drug Seeker”, on the top of my visit summary, as the #1 reason of why I was there visiting the UC. I was absolutely stunned and irate to see this nut job but it gave me an opportunity to tell her off. When she came back to discharge me I reminded her of what she did. She tried to wriggle out of any culpability and I told her that her that, 'by dismissing me and writing a falsehood about being a drug seeker, on my summary, I would most likely get denied for disability'. She just kind of hemmed and hawed uncomfortably, and mumbled “Sorry” before she rushed out of the room.

I called my primary care doc (again) to see if they could help me, or give me a referral for an EMG at my Neurologist's office but her nurse called me and told me that my doc wanted me to do physical therapy first, before she would write up a referral. What the?...how the flippity flying eff does that make any sense at all?!? There are times that I cannot believe I am forced to see these morons in order to get the meds I need so I am not bedbound and unable to care for my children. I am not a doctor and even I know that makes no sense. So...I can't sleep, or use my arms, and waiting a month to get into a physical therapist for what, I don't know, before I get a referral to see if my nerves are completely damaged is going to fucking help my current situation...at all??!!?? I cannot believe this woman is a doctor. The worst part of it all is that she is the best doctor that I have had to date...and that is a sad commentary on our medical system. I told her nurse exactly what I thought of that plan and she said she would call me back after letting the doc know that I something a bit more, um, immediate. So my dad comes and picks me up to bring me to the ER. So I spend another 3 hours surrounded by people coughing and hacking and I feel like death. I have paid $100 for my kids to be in daycare because if my husband has to continue to take any more time off he will lose his job and then we will really be screwed. Finally the nurse calls back and tells me that they have okayed a referral to my Neurologist for an EMG and my appointment is for the next morning!!! At least I don't have to wait any longer at the ER. My dad comes back to pick me up and bring me back home.

So the next morning we pay another $100 for daycare, because I am expecting to have an EMG and still can’t use my arms for anything useful, and set off for the Neurologist’s office.  I finally get in to see him and he takes notes of everything I say and then leads me out to the discharge desk and tells me it was good to see me and that the lady will take care of the rest and to just give her my name.  I am left just standing there in a stupor because I am so confused about what just took place.  So I wait 15 minutes for her to get off the phone and then I tell her my name.  She tells me that it will take about a month to get in for an EMG and another 3 months to have some cognitive/memory testing done.  So I make my appointments and leave.  $200 dollars on daycare and 2 days wasted on seeing absolutely no one to get no help for my current situation….all I want to do is go home and drown myself in the sink because that seems to be the most logical and reasonable thing to do after what I have just had to endure with our completely useless health care system.